How i been feeling lately

Wassup everyone i know i aint been on here in a min but just wasnt feeling it. But i had the sudden urge to post so hear it is lol.

Ok so lately i been thinking about my ex and how i miss him and then how much i am glad we not together lol (yeah i know i sound confused as hell but i am ). So as i was thinking about my ex my best friend starts playing music in her car as we are driving to her house and this song comes on and it just speaks to me its called Rehab by Rihanna I LOVE IT





and then after that song went off there was another song that also spoke to me and it was John Legends Another again




Yeah so those are my feelings lately i dont know what to do about the feelings i keep telling myself that i will get ova the feelings after i take that big move to texas but i think i am just lying to myself

who are we?

"If you rely on us to do everything for you are you yourself or are you just us? And by us helping you all the time who the hell are we?"

I know people are going to read this and be like what the hell but it is just how i was feeling about my friend

In 10 years

Ok as i was laying in bed i started to think and day dreaming about what my life would be like in 10 years. Ok some of my goals might seem a little far fetched to some but for me i plan on making them happen. I first see myself living in a nice big home that i own with kids, a dog , and a mate to share it with (yeah i want the country house with the white fence. Kinda like the one i live in now lol ). I would have liked to at least try my hands at modeling of some kind preferrably underwear lol . I know some are looking like WHAT!!! lol but for those that know me i have an addiction to underwear and i have a very large collection, and i even have designs that i drew up myself and as soon as i can get someone to make them i will be sporting them lol. Ok i also see myself having run in atleast and OLYMPIC Trials if not an OLYMPIC Games, and after that i see myself being a high school track coach. Then there is cooking now i dont see myself as a resturant owner or head chef in a resturant, but i do see myself as a owner of a catering company, and maybe 1 or 2 cookbooks. Ok now back to the house , kids , and other lol. Now YES i do see myself with kids i dont quite know how i will get them whether is is adoption , having a friend be the mom which 2 already said they would love to do that later on down the line. And as far as my Other i dont know who that will be just right now. But that is just something i thought i should share with you guys lemme know what ya'll think.

Second chances

Ok everyone i have been dealing with an issue with my ex and him dealing with his issues, and although it didnt end to well i was given an explianation by him and his mother on a 3 way phone call. She was on my side and she felt that he needed to get himself together because he messed up something good which surprised me, because this was the first boifriend i had whos mother even knew he was gay much less held conversations with his boifriend. It was a different but welcomed situation and she also told me that i need to take into mind that he is very head strong and is big on pride so wont except help from anyone and he apoligized for ending things the way he did and i excepted it. Now i do miss him but i dont know whether i should give him a second chance in my life intimately i will always have a place for him friendship wise but i dont know if i can wait all my life for him to get things together. So what should i do?

OK AM I WRONG?

Ok this is the story one of my best friends in the world got kicked out the house by her mother. So she told me this and me being the friend i am i told her to come ova here so she not sleeping on the streets. Now i didnt think it was gonna be an issue because my cousin and his lil boney ass girlfriend be in his room all damn night into the morning and my grandma dont say nothing to them. So my friend gets here and we are not making any noise ( i make more noise in the kitchen by myself at this time), so we get to my room and then my grandma starts cursing and screaming talking about she has to work every f-ing day and she cant deal with this BS so i just tell my friend to go to my room and i sat there and just listened to her curse and she was like you not brining nobody in my house at this time. So i just said what ever and walked to my room and told my friend she could take a nap before she had to be to work in the morning. So my friend is napping and i hear my cousin try to sneak his girlfriend out the house after he heard my grandma curse so i blew his spot up and asked my grandma why he gets to have his girlfriend which he is intimate with stay ova but i cant have my best friend who has no place to stay stay for a few night and that other lil chick is ova here everynight for the past 3 months. And then my grandma was like thats not important so i got upset and said F-it i am done trying to act like this lil perfect angel in this house when you treat me like a peasant compare to my cousin and everything i do is wrong if its not like what he does. Sometimes i feel like the ugly duckling when it comes to being in her house only i dont feel like there is a swan coming from any of this mess(and i dont mean look wise). But i walked back into my room and sat in my chair cuz my friend was sleep at this point and i know she is gonna call my mother like she always does when i say something she doesnt like. But it doesnt scare me at all because my mother is always on my side, and my thing is i am not gonna let my female friend sleep on the streets at 3 in the morning just to spare my grandma a few hours of sleep because she gets up at 5 am. i realize she works but i am not letting my friend go into a dangerous situation that she doesnt need to be in so she can snore like a damn bear for 2 more hours. Now tell me am i wrong for letting my friend come in?

Haters

Ok everyone i know i havent posted in a long time but i am here it prolly wont be as frequent but i will get back into blogging. Ok but now to the HATERS i recently got into a relationship and already i have haters lol . Well once it was offical that i wasnt single again then i changed my mood on myspace saying that i wasnt single anymore, well after i did that they hate just started pouring in. People have no respect or class i get messages from these (excuse my language) FAGGOTS lol saying that it wont last and that he is prolly ugly or i am prolly paying him. Well here is what i have to say to those FAGGOTS dont hate because its not with you. It's not my fault ya'll didnt know what the hell ya'll wanted and let me slip through your fingers. I realize that ya'll claimed to like me or was really feeling me but obviously not because you guys didnt make any effort towards anything. Now my boo he made more then just an effort he made it happen and thats why i am with him now. My thing is dont come to me with drama and hate just because you realized you missed out on something good , just congratulate me and keep it moving. I mean i love that people pay attention to me but damn calm down there are plenty of other niccas you can play with they got hearts you can crush but mine is off the market now so eat your hateful words and choke (GAG FAGGOTS) lol

8 for 08

OK i am gonna try something new i am gonna come up with 8 things that i would wish to do, see, or accomplish in 08.


1. I would love to get a catering company started and off the ground

2. I want to start up my track regiment again (you know gotta keep the track booty up and tight)

3. I want to work on discovering myself even more and understanding what makes me tick.

4. Get a damn car (cuz this walking thing is getting old fast)

5. I would love to do the big brother little brother program once i get myself together.

6. I am going to work on being less ghetto or as MR.QT and my mother call me "hood boogerish"

7. Throw a slamming 21st birthday party because i have had very few parties in my life and this is a milestone.

8. And lastly i would like to strengthen the relationship between me and my mother and hopefully get the nerve and strength to come out to her

Those are my 8 goals for 08 now i would like to c everyone Else's 8s for 08