Ok as i was sitting in the car with my mother goin to the store and she had a song playing from the cd in her player and she just said this is the song i used to sing to you when u were a baby. Now i didnt pay to much attention to it when she said that, but we went on with our shopping needs and went from store to store. We finally got to shoprite and she asked me to stay in the car and watch my lil brother as she ran in the store real quick so i said sure. As she went in the store i decided that i would look for the song on her cd and i found it . As i listened to the song at first i was like oh this is just a nice song but then i listened to the words and i just sat there and cried because it was so true and it made me dispise my father even more then i have ever before because i love my mother and i hate that she had to deal with his bullshit. But i sat there in the car and cried and cried and it made me think that i really need to tell her about me because a mothers love is endless , and it made me think of the letter i said in the library and typed up for her telling her about me being GAY. Ok but the name of the song is called "Thanks for my child " by Cheryl Pepsi Riley , for those who dont know she is from "Madea goes to Jail" . i posted the song and lyrics on here so everyone can hear the song
Here is the song lyrics
You came into my life, You just made everything right.And even though my man has left me behind,I don't regret a thing for having you.Thanks for my child,I'm really thanking you, the man aboveThanks for my childYou brought me so much joyThis bundle of loveThanks for my childand though your father, He ran away free.The love I have for you baby, Is the love I have in meI'll stay and watch you grow, Yes I will!I'll raise you by myself, A one woman show.You make life worth singing a song(echo)You make life worth singing a song'With you right here with me,I 'll have the strength to go on.Thanks for my childHere we are to today, the years have gone byThanks for my childyou grew before my eyes, time after timeThanks for my childI'll hold you in my arms, I hold you close to merock a bye my baby, I'll rock you to sleepI understand your language, Your baby talkYou forgot to crawl, Before you walkedThere you are just looking so beautifulAnd all the while, you are wrapped in blanketsYou are my love child.Thanks for my childI really thanking you, The man aboveThanks for my childYou brought me so much joy, This bundle of loveThanks for my childAnd though your daddy, He ran away freeThe love I have for you babyIs the love I have in me, Inside of meThe love I have in meI just know, I'll never let you go, no, noNo, no, no, oh yehCause you're my sweet babyPapa can't preach, Papa was a rolling stone becauseHe left his beautiful, Cause he left, us aloneBut that's OK cause I'm you mother babyI carried you for 9 months, And I'm gonna carry youUntil you can carry yourself On your ownI love you sweetheart, (child) I love you too mommy!
I also wanted to show everyone the letter i wrote to my mother but i still have givent to her and i am honestly thinking of giving it to her on christmas i would like everyones opinion on this
Dear mom,
There is something that has been on my mind lately, and you may or may have not been able to tell. I just want you to know that I love you and will always love you and I know you love me too and I hope that you will continue to love me. But this is just something that has been weighing down my heart and soul and I am just tired and stressed from hiding this it is like hiding myself from you. And I think of us as friends and I don’t want to mess that up and that is one reason it has taken me so long to say this. There is no other way to say this but I am gay. I think that the reason it took so long for me to say anything because it took awhile for me to admit to myself that I was and now that I have I feel that it would be a lot easier for me to grow if I had my mother by my side in that sense. I hope this is not something that will make you think different of me or the things I do because deep down I am still the son you gave birth to and loved. Many times I told myself what others say mothers always can tell but I wasn’t sure but there were also time that I would tell myself well maybe If she would just ask me It would be a lot easier for me and I would just say yes. I know at this point you are either feeling one of two ways you either feel that you did something wrong in raising me or you accept it and don’t feel any different towards me. I hope and wish so much that it is not the first one because you raised me better then many other mothers could I think I did better with just having you as mom and dad then having 2 parents. I feel as if there was nothing that could have changed the way I am I was born this way and you had no control over it I had no control over it. I really want things to remain the same between us, I am telling you and you only because I really feel like I need that mommas boy bond and that extra person to talk to about things I mean because larissa knows but it is not the same as having you (my mother) know this and having you to talk to about things that bother me. I realize that if this doesn’t go the way I would like you will think of me as different and then our bond will be broken and I do apologize if that has happened. I also feel that you are the only person in the family that I feel comfortable because I do not need everyone’s side talk and shady and phoniness where they are fine with you and then when u gone they have something to say that’s why I would really rather this staying between me and you. Now I totally understand that you might need someone to talk to and if that should happen could you please talk to someone who is understanding and someone who is not gonna let everyone and they momma know because even though I am gay I don’t quite feel comfortable with everyone knowing my business about what I do and who I do it with or who I hang around. Which brings me to another thing I would really love to introduce you to my friends that I have acquired because I talk about you all the time and I really think if u accept this from me you would really enjoy them and would be glad they are my friends its like having a group full of big brothers who look out for me. But I am so glad that I was able to express myself and unload my soul and let you know how I have been feeling for the past year or so that I have been going back and forth about telling you. I really hope this doesn’t change anything between me and you and I want to let you know again that I love you and I always will.
Love,
Your son
i hope that everyone enjoys
7 comments:
Umm wow. Those song lyrics were really sad, it's really a wonder how men can leave their women and children behind like that. Make sure you let your mom know how much you appreciate her struggle. As far as telling her, has there been any kinds of indications about her feelings on homosexuality? If she's very religious- or even if she's not- I think the day after Christmas would be better. But u probably should tell her.
I loved that song when I was younger... I gave my mom a letter as well, and it made it easier for me so I didn't have to see her initial reaction and she had time to think about what she wanted to say to me.
Even though we talked about the letter at that time, we never talked about my sexuality after that again.
I still want to be open and honest with her, but we will see. We have a good relationship now so I don't want to mess that up, then again I can still do whatever I want as well.
I remember hearing this song when I was a kid (yes I know I'm older lol), and the words are just as touching now as the first time I heard it.
I never got the chance to tell my mother about me, but I sometimes think of what she would've said/done if I had. In your case, I hope she will be understanding and accepting of your sexuality. But I also must say that she may be angry, confused, or try to blame herself. I wish you the best man. It's gonna be hard. But once you get it out, you're gonna feel so much better and walk in a newfound freedom.
very touching! I have already spoken to you about this, I wish you favor and luck in whatever you do concerning your family!
it was a great letter.. very heartfelt.. but u really need to work on the format. it may be easier for your mom to get through if u broke it up into things like paragraphs ??
the downside of delivering the news is: once u tell her you are gay, you can never complain about the taste of her cooking again! think about that!
(ponoono) i realize you are just rendering your comment but the format of the letter shouldnt matter i am not writing an article to the star ledger as long as my mother can read then the words are fine where they r
OMG, I remember that song. Great post and very touching letter. Formatted or not, lol.
It sounds so cliche' but after my mom passed, I realized that you need to tell loved ones all that you want to tell them before they are gone. That includes the good, bad and the ugly. But that is just me.
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